Most commonly heard: In closets, dressing rooms, and bedrooms nationwide.
Translation( s): Can mean any of the following, but is not limited to:
“I am tryig to impress someone and I feel nervous and insecure.”
“I feel inadequate as a woman because I don’t have the stylish clothes I see in magazines!”
“I equate my self-worth with my clothing size.”
It’s Time to Come Out of the Closet
Understanding the Closet Meltdown
All logic goes out the window when you’re staring straight ahead at the insides of your closet. Thousands of rupees worth of shiny, soft, smooth material we call clothing— and still we are certain we have nothing to wear.
And that we are gross. And fat. And undesirable. And ugly.
What is it that brings us to the brink of emotional and spiritual despair when we open up our closet doors?
What moves us to swear on our grandmother’s grave that we will get back into our skinny jeans before the summer is over?
Though the journey has been long, I refuse to any longer be a woman who mangles her body to fit into clothes.
What happened to the sweet notion of finding clothes that just fit your body?
Whose militaristic idea was it to have you mentally manipulated around a small piece of fabric, a label carrying a number, haphazardly sewn into the back of your pants? As if chronic dieting didn’t have us already withdrawn from our potential and power, our society’s drive to buy and consume clothing that will make us look like the “perfect woman” sends us into an ego-crushing downward spiral and an agony-filled existence. It replaces bigger topics— like, for instance, world events or social issues.
Instead, across the country each morning, women are often more concerned with which jeans make our butts look small.
Clothing Is an Emotional Costume!
Clothing projects how you feel about yourself, your body, your relationships, your dreams and desires.
You dress for success, for love, for friendship, to impress, to alienate, to rebel, to intimidate, to seduce, to fool, to bond, and to make a statement.
And yet how many of you are afraid to go into your closets?
Do you behave as if the small sliver of space where you hang your clothes is the ultimate keeper of your demons?
For some it is. For others, it chronicles all of the breakups and breakthroughs of life.
Here is the truth…
Our bodies change! For good or bad, they do.
Your body won’t look exactly the way it did at eighteen, and while it doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to be concerned if you think you’ve gotten out of shape or something, it does mean that you can stop trying to step back into seven-year-old wardrobe options and expect the same results.
Would you want to go back and date the boyfriend you had at eighteen? (Not me!)
Try to look at your clothing the same way: It’s served its purpose, but for you to still try to hold on to it tells me you are not focusing on who you are today. You can’t go back to old clothing to try to relive some past experience. None of us can be physically frozen in time. We are living, evolving beings.
So here’s the thing. If you really are serious about having a body you love for life which does include getting & staying in shape as well as taking exquisite care of her, you need to make friends with your closet! Here’s how –
Spring Cleaning: Four Easy Steps to a Better You
1.Remove from your closet all of the “old sizes” that you can’t fit into.
2.Fill up your closet instead with clothes that fit you now. If you have held on to anything for longer than a year, thinking you are going to one day get back into it— get rid of it. It is like having pictures of old boyfriends around after you are married. You can go back and relive the old times all you want, but the fact is you are now with someone else, and keeping those photos around will only cause you pain in the end.
3.Your closet can be a light-filled space that reflects how you feel about yourself now. It can be filled with positive reality, instead of outdated old illusions.
4.Remember, clothes are just pieces of fabric— they hold as much power over your life as you let them. Savor the memories from wearing those old clothes and what they represented for you in the past, record the moments in your journal if you have to, but get rid of the clothes that don’t fit, and do the same thing about the expectations on your body.
You are already In a Real Body !
The attachment to needing to wear a certain size is similar to the attachment to being a certain weight. It is limiting and random and pointless.
Everyone’s body is different and unique. The twists, turns, dimples, dents, and wrinkles vary for everyone. Yet on some strange level you are all striving to be the same size— and that size is whatever you deem to be “skinny” enough. For some it is a zero. For others a fourteen. And there is incredible pressure on women to buy into this sliding scale of self-worth. No one’s life ended because they couldn’t fit into last year’s jeans.
Size Is an Arbitrary Number !
You know what my style secret truly is?
I find clothes that fit my body properly.
No matter what the size says. Even if you have to buy two different sizes, get your head in the game to find the best fit, not a certain size, because clothing is not a perfect science— people still make clothing, and people are still fallible. So try on multiple sizes till you find the one that works for your body.
Dress for your age and be realistic about your shape. Just because a style is in for a prepubescent girl doesn’t mean it will translate well on an older woman.
Get a reality check on what truly does look best on you. If you aren’t sure, grab the most honest group of friends you have and ask them.
All women face a challenge in finding clothing that works on their bodies. Your body is brilliantly unique. It may take more patience than you have sometimes, but learning to dress your body for who you are today can help alleviate an overstuffed closet full of clothing memories and reminders of failed diet plans. Most of all, feel good in your skin, because a genuine glow of self-esteem is the sexiest accessory anyone can have.
Come on over. I would love to listen your thoughts & insights on this.