Do You Eat To Please Your Husband?
Eating to “please” their husbands has been a biggie for many of the women I work with. So let’s explore this today.
Are you one of the many women who have been struggling with her weight & tend to eat at times in order to “please” your partners?
Well, as I always say, recognizing & acknowledging a pattern is the first step to your power.
Next, I really wanna explain to you that you can’t ever eat “enough” to please anybody….ever. Period.
There isn’t enough food out there that can do it for them.
Having been a people pleaser for the major part of my life, I’m now aware that people pleasers are liars. They are always coming from a place of lack and fear rather than genuine love.
Think about it for a moment, if you genuinely ‘loved’ & cared for your body, would you ever eat something that you don’t want or need thinking that it would please the other person?
Yes, the habit of people pleasing including eating what you don’t want or aren’t hungry is acutely hazardous to your waistline.
Look at this the other way round as well. What would you make other person’s reaction of you choosing not to eat mean about you?
And how could you ever choose to put anything inside your body FOR the other person’s happiness?
For heaven’s sake, it’s your body and you owe it to her.
The other person’s happiness (or unhappiness) is 100% dependant on his thoughts and never upon you choosing to eat or not.
Having this clarity is a total game changer (in fact in all areas of your life). And mind you, you don’t need to come from a place of defensiveness when saying ‘No’. A simple and polite ‘No’ would always do, provided you don’t get caught in your husband’s thoughts and feelings about this.
I’m not saying you have to hurt your husband’s feelings (or whosoever is ‘forcing’ you to eat) when he says “just for me” or “don’t you love me”. All I’m saying is his getting hurt is never in your control, whether or choose to eat or not. It’s just like telling a one year old baby, “If you eat this, then I love you” or “please don’t waste this” or “prove it to me that you love me by eating this”. Or “eat this in order to be loved and/or accepted.” Insane, right!
“Yes, I love you but I’m not eating”. Remember that love has nothing to do with whether or not you eat for them which by the way is totally impossible to do.
And if you ‘choose’ to eat, tell yourself the truth about it which is “you ate for you” and not for them and certainly not to “please” them.
Once you internalize this, you’ll be able to give up your fat inducing people pleasing habit. You will enjoy dinner with your husband (or family/friends) even more as you eat and drink exactly what you want. And then watch your waistline shrink while doing this.
In the comments section of this blog, I encourage you to share your thoughts & insights with me. Tell me, have you ever eaten in social situations just to “gel” in or eaten when your husband (or mother-in law) has apparently forced you to eat and you abided while facing an inner conflict at the same time? Would love to hear from you.